poryqon:

me: *touches my phone for 0.01 seconds*
my parents: WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO WHAT DO THEY WANT WHAT ARE YOU SAYING WHYYYYYYYYYYYY

rabioheab:

want to get out of having to do your homework? try chopping both your arms off. in class the next day when the teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework simply say “i don’t have any fucking arms”

shutupaubrey:

I’m so glad flappy bird ended before there was legitimate merchandise made like angry birds

Played 843,613 times

wessasaurus-rex:

prozdvoices:

Anonymous said:

Hey dude I love your dramatic readings. Anyway, can you read the name of every state in America in the most seductive way possible? In alphabetical order please.

what the fuck

Why

Well, OKAY.

Saying the Names of All 50 States in Alphabetical OrderSeductively

image

HOT DAMN 

shadowstep-of-bast:

scratchingpad:

Kittens post naptime

there are tears running down my cheeks i cannot handle this amount of pure unadulterated cute someone send help

vinebox:

Kidz Bop b like

irnpatience:

this video was everything i hoped for and more

(Source: weloveshortvideos.com)

masserror:

theatrefetish:

thegirlwithkittyears:

thegirlwithkittyears:

people who wear pants past 7 are not the kind of people i associate with

jesus christ i’m getting hate over this because people are putting the word ‘size’ in there when thats not what i was saying

7:00 P.M.

AS IN THE FUCKING TIME

I thought you meant past age 7 and I was rly confused

"Happy birthday son. Since you’re eight now it’s time you learn about kilts.”

(Source: j0ye)